Constant Change

"A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving." - Lao Tzu

Go with the flow. Pliable. Roll with the punches. Adaptable. Call it what you want, life is constant change. As soon as we figure out who we are and what we're doing, the table turns and we find ourselves faced with new and uncharted waters. I like to think I am fluid. That change doesn't throw me off balance, but I'm human (despite all my pleas to become a robot.)

This past summer I embarked on a new adventure in going back to school. It was not an sudden choice, but one my family and I had been planning and preparing for for a few years. Alas, it was still a big life change. Gone were my days of being a stay at home mom. I didn't think I would miss it too much, but I do.


I looked forward to this change, being a student. But I forgot what it was like to not know something. Going back to school in an intensive full time program is every stress and time challenge they said it would be...and then some. Some days I just feel so lost. I don't know the answers, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm just a blank. I hate not knowing. I hate not being able. I want so badly to skip forward to the part where I get it. Where I am comfortable. When I can move automatically with confidence.

That day is not today. Or tomorrow. I am in the middle of change. I try hard to just go with it. The harder you struggle against the flow the more likely you are to drown. I try to remind myself that this is a journey, an adventure worth taking. How is this a learning experience? How am I adding to who I am by taking this path? My friends and family remind me that I am okay. That I am doing well and one day will look back on this and think how silly it was that I was to frustrated. But to be honest, some days just end in tears. Tears of exasperation. Tears of inexperience. Tears of feeling awkward and uncoordinated. Defeat. Failure. Self-doubt. I struggle and grasp for branches to save me.


Some days I come home and I am compelled to do something I know how to do. I need to feel like an expert in something to remind myself that I have already journeyed this far. I have climbed many mountains and achieved great heights. I have overcome a bad marriage. I have run successful businesses. I have grown and birthed and so far not yet killed two small human beings. I can cook. I can sew.


Oh, I can sew. I come home, I lay down my books and my burdens, and go into my studio. It is familiar. I know where all my tools are. I know how they all work and their quirks. I press, cut, fold and stitch fabric. It's without deep thought or much effort. I make small projects. I need to take something from start to finish, to create completely, to have that sense of accomplishment. It feels so good. And in those actions I can restore myself. I step back from the edge, regroup, refuel, and set my sights forward again.


Each day that I finish is one day forward. It's one more day of experience in this new adventure. One more day as a seasoned traveler in life. I go to bed knowing I will wake up with clearer eyes. I will lace up my boots and push on, climb higher. I will take deep breaths and float on the river of change. I am not a drowning animal. I am a leaf, floating, twirling, and occasionally taking a tumble.

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." - Lao Tzu

I'm sharing my experience with change as part of a week long series led by Jenya of While She Was Sleeping and Renee of Nearest The Pin called Constant Change. The goal is to bring you inspiration and celebration in the variety of change we all experience in life. Please head over to Renee's blog, Nearest The Pin to meet today's other poster, Suz of SewPony.



This bag I made during a recent bout of doubt. The exterior fabric is a piece of Ikea curtain. The interior and tabs are unknown designer quilt cotton. The lace stripes are scraps my great grandmother had saved and were in the box of her vintage lace that I had just been bequeathed. I also made my Anatomical Skeleton Hoodie with her vintage lace, too.

Sew Geeky: Anatomy Nerd

Do you know the Sew Geeky Series? Kat and Ari started this sewn clothing series to celebrate their geekiness. From Star Wars to 8-bit to classic anime, these amazingly talented ladies take a monthly theme and blow it up. Because everyone has such diverse geekery, October is Sew Geeky Spectacular and I'm here to join in!


I love skeletons. You all know that. No big surprise there. I am not sure when this love affair started exactly. Or even where it came from. As a kid I used to be afraid of a model skeleton in my Nana's basement. His name was Mr. Bones and he was perched on an overhang of her basement stairs. My brothers and I played down there often and I would rush down the stairs for fear that one day Mr. Bones would jump down on me.

Try as I might, I can't seem to recall when my fear of skeletons turned into love. I'm sure it had to do with my changing to public schools and embracing science classes. Biology and the human body have always captivated me. I want to know how it all works. And now, I get to see inside of you. I seriously think it's so freaking cool to look at a person's insides moving around in real time. Like, it's so awesome. You don't even know.


Loving skeletons is all fine and dandy, until Halloween comes around. Don't get me wrong. I love Halloween. It's a most excellent time of year when partnered with Dia de los Muertos to add to my skulls and bones collection. I just find it a bit embarrassing to be swearing skeleton things in late October. I don't want people to think I'm only wearing them for the season. (Which is highly stupid, because, hi, what do I really care?)

In any case, I had this idea twirling around in my head to use some of my great grandmother's vintage lace to make bones. I have just inherited a large box of her lace (along with her treadle Singer!) I wanted just a simple line of vertebrae running down my back. Clean. Architectural almost. Minimalist skeleton.


I sketched out the cervical, thoracic and lumbar vertebrae shapes onto a thin paper then sprayed a temporary adhesive to the back of it. This let me stick the scraps of lace in order to make sure they were aligned right and stayed flat while I sewed them. Next I pinned the paper to the back of my hoodie the appliqued away.



I have to admit to feeling defensive about my Sew Geeky post this time around. Mostly because it's October and I'm not sharing a costume. But this is the month of free for all Sew Geeky Spectacular, and I'm a super geek for science and anatomy. Last month we had a school project to make a life sized replica of the human organs. Most people used a metric ton of modeling clay or crap felt. I just couldn't. I may have drafted patterns for each organ and sewed them all with scraps from my stash. And made a super sweet rib cage that unzips at the sternum.


So here I am. Feeling like an awkward fourteen year old, but so super loving my new skeleton hoodie. Eh, I'm a geek. I'm a nerd. Deal with it. (zips up hoodie and stalks out)

Present Perfect: Cargo Tablet Sleeve

I catch a lot of flak from my dear husband, Danny. It turns out that despite my lack of affinity for ruffles and lace, my fabric collection is well, quite girlie. I do my fair share of sewing for our home and family, but since no men go fabric shopping with me, most everything handmade in our home has a feminine touch. I'd been mulling over a more manly handmade aesthetic when I was asked to make a little something from Present Perfect: 25 Gifts to Sew and Bestow, the newest book by Betz White.

As a very techie family we have a variety of devices in our home. Some have proper homes (aka, my tablet), others not so much. For instance, my husband's Kindle goes on business trips within the not exactly protective confines of the wool hat I crocheted him last winter. Hey, I give him points for the attempt. It seemed pretty obvious after flipping through Betz's new book that I should be making Danny some proper device sleeves (and practice using some manly fabrics, too.)


I'm not usually a big craft book fan. Most times there is one pretty great project and eight other meh ones that both you and I wouldn't exactly need a book for. But after flipping through the copy of Present Perfect that the publishers sent me, I've got to tell you, that this is not the case. I had a hard time deciding which 'man' project to pick. The Cargo Tablet Sleeve was the ultimate winner, but the Gentleman's Travel Case is still calling my name. Plus, I've been having this love affair with bees all this year and bam, there's that Sweet Life Pillow just begging me to make one. And then I saw the hot pink version Melissa made and it's a must.

Present Perfect has great handmade gift ideas for everyone, really. Babies, men, your girl friends, housewarming... you name it, Betz has a great idea for you. Oh, and did I mention that the book comes with pattern pieces? Yes! Even the rectangular ones that most books just tell you what size to cut out. I don't know about you, but I usually screw those up. But not with these patterns, friends. (You can tell, I was perhaps quite excited by this.) If you know someone who has just gotten into sewing and crafting, this book would make a fabulous gift for them. The instructions and drawings are clear and easy to follow, and the photographs just make you want to keep sewing up project after project.


I used a pirate print for the lining and a milk chocolate brown cotton twill for the outside of the Cargo Tablet Sleeve. I was going to wax the twill with some beeswax I recently got a honeybee festival, but it was too soft to alter it. The flap and base of the Cargo Tablet Sleeve are cut from a chocolate brown suede jacket my sister in law gifted me for upcycling purposes. It's the first time I've ever sewn with salvaged animal hide and I was pretty pleased with the result.



The clasp is a vintage Euro swivel clip and key ring I picked up from an Army/Navy store in Provencetown, MA this summer while we were on vacation. I don't even want to tell you how inexpensive this hardware was. I'm embarrassed to say that I did not buy them all, because I so should have.

The result is a pretty sweet, man friendly, tablet bag. It's not the first fabric choices I would have chosen, but Danny approves of it's manliness and I can breath a bit easier knowing his tablet is traveling protected (and in style!) I think I'll have to make myself one with a bright vintage floral canvas...

Until then, check out Present Perfect by Betz White. She's made a short video to flip through some of the projects in this book. I can honestly say this book is worth getting, or giving. Also, you can pop into the blogs below on their tour dates to see what other makers have sewn from the book.


Happy Home:
October 6 - Sew Mama Sew – Make & Bake Apron
October 7 - Stacy Sews – Falling Leaves Appliquéd Placemats
October 8 - House on Hill Road – Hot Mitt House & Tea Towel Set
October 9 - A Happy Stitch – Sweet Life Pillow

Memorable Moments:
October 10 - Sew Sweetness – Wool Courier Bag
October 13 - Raspberry Sunshine – Gentlemen’s Travel Case
October 14 - Pink Chalk Fabrics – Pasha Pleated Clutch
October 15 - The Long Thread – Eye Candy Glasses Case
October 16 - Made with Moxie – Cargo Tablet Sleeve
October 17 - Bijou Lovely – Coffee Cash Coin Pouch

New and Little
October 20 - Flax and Twine – Forest Friends Finger Puppets
October 21 - Imagine Gnats – Bib, Rattle & Burp Baby Set

Thanks for stopping by! Don't forget tomorrow is the launch of Perfect Pattern Parcel #6! You're going to love it.