I don't want to freeze time. What I really want is a memory recorder. I want to be able to play them back, crystal clear with all the emotions I felt. I'd record today, as he is just turning two.
When he makes that radiant smile at me and calls me momma. When he plops himself down in my lap with a book and snuggles back on my chest tucking his head under my chin. When he falls, skinning his knee and I scoop him up and he throws his arms around me and squeezes.
I'd record the day he was born. The great earthquake he caused. The sound of his cry. The nurses nicknaming him Moose and trying to guess his weight. The absolute heart busting joy I felt when they laid his naked body on mine.
I would record the naps we took together in the sunshine on a quilted bed. The pride on his face as he discovered new things. His excitement as he shouted "Ready? Ready? Ready?" and leapt off of the couch.
I want all those files stored and backed up somewhere. I'll never forget, but the details will fade. The crispness will blur. Most of all I want to save those feelings. Why can't I play back my love at first sight? It would turn all Rough Days into great days. I suppose it's all a bit too much Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind.
Jimmy Quinn is all snips, snails and puppy dog tails. He's dirty and sticky and sweaty. He's loud and messy and always looking for trouble. I love hij so much. Happy birthday, Moose.